Jeremy Clarkson has furiously hit back at a handful of news outlets after reports emerged claiming he’d been considering relocating abroad due to the current state of Great Britain.
The misleading reports emerged after the former Top Gear star highlighted several factors wrong with the UK in comparison to its overseas counterparts, including what he described as a “flatlining” economy, a “stagnant” property market, and “useless” law enforcement.
“It’s easy to convince yourself that Britain is now an unsalvageable basket case, a country that’s slipped into a pair of Fairy Liquid butter trousers and is currently hurtling down the slide of doom,” Clarkson wrote in his latest newspaper column for the Sunday Times.
The Clarkson’s Farm host identified Australia, New Zealand, and America as “obvious choices” for those looking to relocate but highlighted how the bureaucratic process can prove daunting.
“You can’t just buy a house and open a local bank account. There are forms and requirements, and it all looks a bit tiresome,” he explained.
Clarkson also evaluated European nations, including Italy, France, Spain, Croatia, Portugal, and Switzerland, before he mentioned Dubai as an appealing option for those seriously considering the move.
The emirate’s attractions included “no income tax. Petrol 50p a litre. The police do what they’re supposed to do, and it’s sunny most of the time.”
However, throughout the column, Mr Clarkson made clear that he had no intentions of leaving and ultimately chose to remain in the UK. He reasoned that relocating carries uncertainty about future conditions in any chosen destination.
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“If you move abroad, in three-and-a-half years you will be living in another country, and God knows what it will be like there then,” he wrote. “Whereas if you stay here, in three-and-a-half years you’ll be surrounded by your friends and family.”
The presenter also expressed optimism about political change, adding: “And the horror of [Keir] Starmer will have gone.”
Following his musings, several news outlets ran stories angled on Mr Clarkson seriously considering the possibility of ditching his Diddly Squat Farm in Oxfordshire and packing his bags for a life abroad.
Taking to Instagram on Monday night, Mr Clarkson set the record straight, and pulled no punches in a series of foul-mouthed assessments of the publications who’d run the stories.
“Utter horses***,” Mr Clarkson wrote on Instagram alongside a screenshot of an article by The Standard. “I never said any such thing you click bait t***s.”
His fury wasn’t reserved solely for national publications either. Taking aim at the Oxford Mail, Mr Clarkson fumed in a separate post: “More b*****ks from what used to be called journalism. This nonsense has to stop.”
He appeared to have the support of his Clarkson’s Farm co-star Kaleb Cooper, who added to the pile-on: “Oxford mail always been full of s***.@ (sic)
It’s not the first time the Grand Tour star has felt the need to publicly address headlines written about him to avoid any confusion. After a TB outbreak on his farm, Mr Clarkson took to social media to assure fans his farm wouldn’t be forced to close its doors despite misleading headlines in the press.
He has described 2025 as the “worst year ever” for his agricultural venture, citing severe heatwaves and drought conditions as well as the TB outbreak.
“It’s awful, it is awful,” he told Times Radio, describing the moment when a veterinary test revealed an infected pregnant cow.
There was further heartbreak when his pet pooch Arya gave birth to a litter of puppies, only for one to die within hours of being born.
Fans will be able to see how Mr Clarkson battles with the numerous obstacles when the fifth season of his hit Amazon Prime Video series arrives next year.